Pacing, Not Pushing: A Guide to Gentle Goal Setting
January can be a difficult month for those of us living with Fibromyalgia.
The weather is often cold and damp, causing our pain levels to flare, yet the world around us is shouting about "New Year Resolutions," gym memberships, and doing more.
At Fibromyalgia Friends Together, we believe that traditional goal-setting often sets people with chronic illness up to fail. It doesn't account for fatigue, pain, or the unpredictable nature of our condition. It encourages the "Boom and Bust" cycle—doing too much on a good day and paying for it for the next three.
This year, instead of rigid resolutions, we invite you to try Gentle Intentions. Here is a simple tool to help you look ahead without punishing yourself.
The Traffic Light System 🚦
The problem with a standard goal (like "I will declutter the house" or "I will walk for 20 minutes every day") is that it assumes your energy levels are the same every morning. We know that isn't true.
Instead, try setting your intentions using the Traffic Light System. This gives you three different ways to succeed, depending on how many "spoons" you have when you wake up.
🟢 The Green Day Goal (Good Spoons)
This is for days when your pain is manageable and your brain fog is low.
The Goal: The ideal version of what you want to achieve.
🟠 The Amber Day Goal (Average Days)
This is for the days where you feel "meh." You aren't in a crisis, but you are tired.
The Goal: A scaled-back, gentle version of the task.
🔴 The Red Day Goal (Flare-Up Days)
This is for days when your body is shouting "No."
The Goal:Rest. On a Red Day, stopping to rest isn't "giving up" on the goal—it is part of the goal. It is maintenance work to help you get back to Amber or Green.
The Power of "One Tiny Thing"
If the Traffic Light system feels like too much right now, try the concept of One Tiny Thing.
Pick one intention for the year, but make it small. Then, make it smaller.
Instead of "I will read 20 books," try "I will listen to a story when my eyes hurt."
Instead of "I will cook from scratch every night," try "I will add one piece of fresh veg to my easy meals."
Instead of "I will go for a walk," try "I will open the back door and breathe the fresh air for 30 seconds."
A Final Note on Kindness
If you are reading this and feeling the weight of the "New Year, New Me" pressure, please take a deep breath. Your worth is not measured by your productivity. Living with Fibromyalgia is a full-time job in itself.
Updates to the PIP Review – What It Means for People with Fibromyalgia
Many people in our community rely on Personal Independence Payment (PIP) to help manage the additional costs of living with fibromyalgia — including travel to medical appointments, heating, mobility aids, and daily living support.
The government has recently expanded the terms of the ongoing PIP review to include current claimants, not just future applicants. This means people already receiving PIP could be affected by any recommendations that result from the review.
For those living with long-term pain, fatigue, and daily challenges, this uncertainty can be especially worrying. PIP is a vital source of stability, independence, and dignity for many.
Why We’re Sharing This
As a charity, Fibromyalgia Friends Together is committed to:
Raising awareness of issues affecting people with fibromyalgia
Providing clear, reliable information to our community
Amplifying the voices and experiences of those with long-term health conditions
Supporting efforts that protect essential disability support
Understanding changes to PIP — and how they may affect you — is an important part of that mission.
Have Your Say
Disability-focused organisations are gathering people’s views to ensure the experiences of those who rely on PIP are represented during the review.
One of the questions being asked is whether the government should rule out cuts to PIP for current claimants.
If you would like to share your thoughts, you can take part in the short survey by the Organise Network here: 👉 Share your view on PIP changes
Your response can help highlight why stable, reliable financial support is essential for people managing complex, fluctuating conditions like fibromyalgia.
Why This Matters to Our Community
Fibromyalgia often brings:
Chronic pain
Fluctuating mobility
Fatigue
Impact on ability to work
Higher daily living costs
Any changes to PIP could have real-world implications for the wellbeing and independence of thousands of people with fibromyalgia across the UK.
We will continue to monitor updates and share information as the review progresses.
Nominate Fibromyalgia Friends Together for us to have the chance to win £1,000 for our charity!Living with Fibromyalgia can be overwhelming — this is why we set-up Fibromyalgia Friends Together - making sure no one has to face it alone. 💜
Right now, our Charity has a chance to receive much-needed funding through the Movement for Good Awards, but they need nominations from people like us.
✨ If this charity has touched your life — or if you simply want to make a difference for someone struggling with chronic pain, fatigue and many more symptoms on top of that — then, please nominate us.
For those of us living with Fibromyalgia, this time of year. the winter, can feel particularly difficult because so many of our triggers seem to pile up at once.
Colder, damp weather often makes muscles and joints ache more intensely, and sudden changes in temperature or pressure can lead to painful flare-ups. Shorter days and darker mornings can affect sleep patterns and mood, leaving us more exhausted and less resilient to pain. On top of that, seasonal demands – from busy social calendars to family expectations and financial pressure – can drain our limited energy and increase stress, which is a well-known amplifier of Fibromyalgia symptoms.
Even things that are meant to be enjoyable, like festive events or days out in the cold, can involve extra sensory overload, travel, and disrupted routines, all of which our nervous systems feel far more sharply.
To support you through this, we’ve created a free downloadable presentation, which you can use as a guide to work through at our own pace on Getting Through This Difficult Time of Year, which explains these challenges in more detail and offers practical tools like self-compassion, the Self-Kindness Shield, and simple grounding and breathing exercises you can use whenever everything feels too much – download it here:
The Florence Nightingale Aid in Sickness Trust Fund
Grants for People Living with Fibromyalgia
At Fibromyalgia Friends Together (FFT), we understand the financial challenges that can come with managing fibromyalgia. While we do not provide grants ourselves, we are committed to helping our community find the right sources of support.
One of the key organisations offering assistance is the Florence Nightingale Aid in Sickness Trust (FNAIST). This UK charity provides grants for items and services that improve quality of life for people of all ages living with illness or disability — including those with fibromyalgia.
✨ What the Florence Nightingale Aid in Sickness Trust Awards Grants For
The Trust awards grants where no other funding is available. These can cover:
🦽 Mobility and independence aids – such as wheelchairs, walking frames or stairlifts 🛏️ Medical equipment – including orthopaedic mattresses, nebulisers, or communication aids 🏠 Daily living support – household equipment and adaptations to make life easier at home 🌿 Respite and convalescent care – short breaks to aid recovery and reduce stress (not holidays)
👩⚕️ Who Can Apply?
Applications are open to people across the UK who are living with long-term health conditions, including fibromyalgia. To apply, a request must usually come from a healthcare or social care professional such as:
👨⚕️ GP or nurse
🛠️ Occupational therapist
🧑🤝🧑 Social worker
❤️ Charity worker involved in the person’s care
Applicants should demonstrate that:
✔️ The item or service requested is medically necessary ✔️ No statutory or other charitable funding is available ✔️ The support will significantly improve quality of life
🚫 What Cannot Be Funded
To keep grants focused on essential needs, the Trust does not usually fund:
❌ Holidays or general leisure costs ❌ Items already purchased (retrospective funding) ❌ Services normally provided by the NHS or local authorities
📋 How to Apply
If you believe you could benefit from a grant:
1️⃣ Speak to a professional – ask your GP, nurse, occupational therapist, or social worker to support your application. 2️⃣ Gather information – quotes, costings, and professional evidence of need are important. 3️⃣ Submit the application – completed forms should be sent to the Florence Nightingale Aid in Sickness Trust.
At Fibromyalgia Friends Together, our goal is to support and empower everyone living with fibromyalgia. By signposting trusted charities like FNAIST, we hope to make it easier for our members and community to access funding that can improve daily life, independence and wellbeing.
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