Pacing, Not Pushing: A Guide to Gentle Goal Setting

January can be a difficult month for those of us living with Fibromyalgia.  

The weather is often cold and damp, causing our pain levels to flare, yet the world around us is shouting about "New Year Resolutions," gym memberships, and doing more.

At Fibromyalgia Friends Together, we believe that traditional goal-setting often sets people with chronic illness up to fail. It doesn't account for fatigue, pain, or the unpredictable nature of our condition. It encourages the "Boom and Bust" cycle—doing too much on a good day and paying for it for the next three.

This year, instead of rigid resolutions, we invite you to try Gentle Intentions. Here is a simple tool to help you look ahead without punishing yourself.

The Traffic Light System 🚦

 The problem with a standard goal (like "I will declutter the house" or "I will walk for 20 minutes every day") is that it assumes your energy levels are the same every morning. We know that isn't true.

Instead, try setting your intentions using the Traffic Light System. This gives you three different ways to succeed, depending on how many "spoons" you have when you wake up.

🟢 The Green Day Goal (Good Spoons)

This is for days when your pain is manageable and your brain fog is low.

• The Goal: The ideal version of what you want to achieve.

🟠 The Amber Day Goal (Average Days)

This is for the days where you feel "meh." You aren't in a crisis, but you are tired.

• The Goal: A scaled-back, gentle version of the task.

🔴 The Red Day Goal (Flare-Up Days)

This is for days when your body is shouting "No."

• The Goal: Rest. On a Red Day, stopping to rest isn't "giving up" on the goal—it is part of the goal. It is maintenance work to help you get back to Amber or Green.

The Power of "One Tiny Thing"

If the Traffic Light system feels like too much right now, try the concept of One Tiny Thing.

Pick one intention for the year, but make it small. Then, make it smaller.

• Instead of "I will read 20 books," try "I will listen to a story when my eyes hurt."

• Instead of "I will cook from scratch every night," try "I will add one piece of fresh veg to my easy meals."

• Instead of "I will go for a walk," try "I will open the back door and breathe the fresh air for 30 seconds."

A Final Note on Kindness

If you are reading this and feeling the weight of the "New Year, New Me" pressure, please take a deep breath. Your worth is not measured by your productivity. Living with Fibromyalgia is a full-time job in itself.

Be gentle with yourself this year.

Updates to the PIP Review – What It Means for People with Fibromyalgia

Many people in our community rely on Personal Independence Payment (PIP) to help manage the additional costs of living with fibromyalgia — including travel to medical appointments, heating, mobility aids, and daily living support.

The government has recently expanded the terms of the ongoing PIP review to include current claimants, not just future applicants. This means people already receiving PIP could be affected by any recommendations that result from the review.

For those living with long-term pain, fatigue, and daily challenges, this uncertainty can be especially worrying. PIP is a vital source of stability, independence, and dignity for many.

Why We’re Sharing This

As a charity, Fibromyalgia Friends Together is committed to:

• Raising awareness of issues affecting people with fibromyalgia

• Providing clear, reliable information to our community

• Amplifying the voices and experiences of those with long-term health conditions

• Supporting efforts that protect essential disability support

Understanding changes to PIP — and how they may affect you — is an important part of that mission.

Have Your Say

Disability-focused organisations are gathering people’s views to ensure the experiences of those who rely on PIP are represented during the review.

One of the questions being asked is whether the government should rule out cuts to PIP for current claimants.

If you would like to share your thoughts, you can take part in the short survey by the Organise Network here:
👉 Share your view on PIP changes

Your response can help highlight why stable, reliable financial support is essential for people managing complex, fluctuating conditions like fibromyalgia.

Why This Matters to Our Community

Fibromyalgia often brings:

• Chronic pain

• Fluctuating mobility

• Fatigue

• Impact on ability to work

• Higher daily living costs

Any changes to PIP could have real-world implications for the wellbeing and independence of thousands of people with fibromyalgia across the UK.

We will continue to monitor updates and share information as the review progresses.

Our July 2025 Fibromyalgia Social Meeting takes place on 25th July at our new venue

*Please note our meetings now take place on the Third Monday of each month.

 Since our group socials have become so large we have had to find a new venue.  
We are pleased to announce that our new venue is

Bright Hope House   in Coalville, North West Leicestershire

Talbot Lane
Swannington
Leicestershire
LE67 8QT

Google maps link:  https://www.google.com/maps?ll=52.751526,-1.379759&z=14&t=m&hl=en&gl=US&mapclient=embed&cid=11392077805485891156

We hope this will be the start of a long-term association with Bright Hope House.

We will have the meeting at 1.15pm but the room is available from 12 - 3 pm for our members. 

There will be refreshments available for purchase before the meeting starts - on offer will be jacket potatoes and quiche, both served with a drink.  Please may you make a donation towards refreshments.

If you are new, please keep an eye out for members with lanyards and they will welcome you to the group, especially if you are feeling nervous and unsure or any other support on the day as they will be more than happy to help 🙂

We will use this meeting to:  

• Show you around the new venue  
• Talk about working with Loughborough University on a revised research proposal
• Tell you about our developing plans for a revamped website, new logo and branding
• Update you all on our fundraising ideas

Please call:  07825 610925 if there are any problems finding us.   

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